“Ithaca is Cages”

What the hell!  Been to Ithaca recently?  Due to continuing penchant for stressed out Cornellians to jettison themselves into the gorges, the campus has seen fit to place large fences around the bridges over said gorges.  Its like being in prison but without the free healthcare, free cable TV, free college education and free anal sex (and I’m not too sure about the latter).

Say, here’s a thought: “Mr. Skorton tear down those fences” and address the CAUSE of the suicide, not the method.  Seriously, what the hell.  Have you blocked off streets where students are hit by cars?  Have you closed dining halls where students achieve the Freshman fifteen?  Have you erased the Cornell-Lingus column where promiscuity is promoted?  No?  Then how dare you, sir, how DARE you muddy my view of nature’s gifts?

I certainly don’t attempt to belittle the pain and suffering of the parents and friends of the deceased, merely the University solution.

I have a solution:  Fill the gorges with garbage.  It’s PERFECT!  NY can continue its economy based on being a dumping ground for NYC and Canada, students will no longer fall to their deaths, and the fences can be put around the dining halls to keep frosh from becoming posh.

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